Open-mindedness is a two-way street

I talk a lot about open-mindedness. In fact, it's one of the very mantras of how I define myself. I have always claimed to be open-minded and have used that philosophy to govern decisions and evaluations that I make. But, what does it really mean to be open-minded? Does it mean that you abandon the cumulation of values and experiences that you have obtained throughout your lifetime? Every individual contains biases. Biases are the results of lessons learned and experiences undergone. Biases are not always these bad things that make us judgmental and close-minded people. They are instincts meant to protect us.


If I'm alone walking down a dark street and I see a hooded black man walking towards me with his hands in his pockets, I cannot help but tense up a little bit and be a little bit wary of him. I don't hate black people. I don't despise people that wear hoodies. However, that image happens to evoke a train of negative memories and experiences that we attach from experiences and even through the media. My brain resorted to this default judgment based on probability and based on the instinct for survival.


When I came out a couple years ago, I asked everyone around me for their open-mindedness. I tried to explain to people that I am the same Mike George that I have always been, and that I am not just going to magically transform into one of these prissy little queens wearing Dolce-Gabbana sunglasses and rainbow stickers on my butt. I told myself that I wasn't going to let homosexuality change the fabric of who I am. However, I have seen little hints of changes in how I think. I've always preached the essence of open-mindedness, as do many others in the GLBT community, but it often seems that we only allow open-mindedness when its to our benefit. But, what about all those in the gay community that turn away from God not because He wronged them or abandoned them, but because it was the default thing to do as a member of the GLBT community?


I went to church last Sunday with a couple of my friends. It was the first time that I had gone in a good while. The sermon was alright; it didn't resonate that much with me; I've heard better. But, a part of me kinda missed the whole environment and sense of community that church provided. Since coming out, I not only stopped caring about God, but I also saw myself slowly becoming judgmental of many of my Christian friends. Considering the fact that many of my best friends in the world are Christian - not to mention the amount of grace and open-mindedness they've extended me - it really hurt me to find that I was slowly becoming a hypocrite and totally snubbing the values of many of my most cherished friends.


It's a really unfortunate circumstance. On one hand, you have the Christian community whose image is tarnished by a lot of these radical evangelical sects throughout the country. And, on another, you have narrow-minded gays that think that all Christians are out to get them. Throughout this whole mess, you have atheists who incessantly mock Christians, yet bitch about how close-minded they are towards them. It's a huge clusterfuck, and it's unfortunate that I've become a part of that.


Beneath all the hullabaloo of political labels, religious affiliations, sexual identities, we are each individuals brimming with our own sets of ability, passion, love, and intellect. We define ourselves through our actions and through what kinds of people we share our most precious moments with. God gives us the ability to love all people and things in our lives - and, most importantly, to understand all these things. Open-mindedness isn't necessarily about wanting others to unconditionally accept who I am and what I stand for. It's about a mutual transaction of understanding. If I automatically turn my back on another simply because he is Christian and I just assume that he will not approve of who I am, then I totally miss out on being there to teach him about who I am and having the opportunity to learn and understand where his views come from. In the pursuit of knowledge and friendship, it's hypocritical to pick and choose based on convenience.


It's frustrating being wrapped up in categories. It's frustrating being gay and being wrapped up with the narrow-minded GLBT community. It was frustrating when I was Republican trying to explain to people how it is not profound to be gay and yet desire small government and free markets. It's frustrating now after having voted for Obama trying to explain to people that government does need to invest in its citizens and their well-being in order to give us a robust economy - but doing so in a way that incentivizes reform and innovation.


I'm tired of all this crap. I need to break away from these conventions and learn that open-mindedness is a two-way street. I have to be more patient with other people with whom I share disagreements in order to learn from. I have to be that person who teaches them that we are not all the same. In order break away from the molds of which I deteste, I have to clearly define who I am and not be afraid to both express it and to lend an ear to listen.